Marie Lasater
I just want to say I absolutely adore nurses! The best thing about being a nurse, other than helping people heal, is being around other nurses! I did a follow-up call with a nurse practitioner today who was in absolute tears that her patient died. She felt somehow she was to blame, missed something, or could have done more. She was absolutely perfect in her care of this patient, and I wanted to let her know that. I've been a nurse for 43 years now, and I'm pretty sure nursing is the only profession where the employee writes themselves up and reports themselves to their manager if they even think they made a mistake. No wonder nursing is the most trusted profession (with firefighters very close). When they fire all the nurses, who is going to keep the patients alive?
In 30 days, I'm being forced to walk away from the profession I have given my life and my heart to for the last 10 years. I'm walking away from the only "big girl" job I've ever known.
I'm walking away because I refuse to allow someone to put something into my body that i don't want. Not through bribery, force or coercion.
I'm walking away because it's what's best for myself and my family.
I'm walking away because "healthcare" has become a discriminatory, ugly beast. This is not what I signed up for. The healthcare I began my career in, was night and day different than this. We were blind to choices made by our patients that brought them to us. We are not God, judge or jury. We are healing hands.
I will walk away because it's a lesson my child needs to see. That his momma gave it her all and still lost. AND THAT ITS OK TO LOSE. He will see what mountains one voice can shake. He will see those mountains move with lots of voices. He will see those mountains crumble with an army of voices. He will learn, his singular voice, is capable of amazing things.
I will walk away with my head held high. I will own this with resolve to move forward. Although my life and heart have been given back in pieces, I will gather those pieces and walk away. I'll put those pieces together and create something new. I'll rely on the friends I have made in this fight. I'll rely on my family for the days when the fight seems to be too great. But I will walk away knowing I have an army of people behind me.
I will walk away, but...I will do it on my own terms. Head held high. Full of pride for giving my all to this fight. Full of pride because I will always be able to tell my son, I STOOD UP FOR WHAT WAS RIGHT FOR ME. I will miss it...but I will walk away.
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