1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.
2. Go to wardrobe and collect bag in which present is contained, and close door.
3. Open door and remove cat from wardrobe.
4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.
5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.
6. Go to drawer and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.
7. Lay out present and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping strategy to be formed.
8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit, and collect string.
9. Remove present from bag.
10. Remove cat from bag.
11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.
12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.
13. Cut the paper to size, trying to keep the cutting line straight.
14. Throw away first sheet because cat tried to chase the scissors and tore paper.
15. Cut second sheet of paper to size by putting cat in the bag the present came out of.
16. Place present on cut-to-size paper.
17. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present, wonder why edges now don't reach, and find cat between present and paper. Remove cat and retry.
18. Place object on paper, to hold in place, while cutting transparent sticky tape.
19. Spend next 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape from cat with pair of nail scissors.
20. Seal paper down with transparent sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible.
21. Look for roll of ribbon; chase cat down hall and retrieve ribbon.
22. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn.
23. Re-roll up ribbon and remove paper that is now torn, due to cat's enthusiasm in chasing ribbon end.
24. Repeat steps 12-22 until down to last sheet of paper.
25. Decide to skip steps 12-16 in order to save time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that you know is right size for sheet of paper.
26. Put present in box, and tie down with string.
27. Remove string, open box and remove cat.
28. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for lockable room.
29. Once inside room, lock door and start to re-lay out packing materials.
30. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close door and re-lock.
31. Lay out last sheet of paper. (Admittedly this is difficult in the small area of the toilet, but try your best!)
32. Seal box, wrap with paper and start repairs by very carefully sealing down tears with transparent sticky tape. Now tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst affected areas.
33. Label, then sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulating yourself on making good of a bad job.
34. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and to feed cat.
35. Spend next 15 minutes looking for cat, before coming to obvious conclusion.
36. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.
37. Retrieve all discarded sheets of wrapping paper, feed cat, and retire to lockable room for last attempt, making certain you are alone and the door is locked.
38. At time of handing over present, smile sweetly at receiver's face, as they try and hide their contempt at being handed such a badly wrapped present.
39. Swear to yourself that next year, you will get the store to wrap the darn thing for you.
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Replies
It made me laugh until tears.
Has anyone tried to pack for a vacation with cats around?
Where can I get Radialgin?
Kim B said:
Thanks for the reminder Cheryl as I was instructed by Dr. Starita to add a drop or two to a gallon of water (in a glass or plastic container, not metal) of Radialgin homeopathic and give to my pets in their drinking water just in case they are exposed to radiation from contaminated foods (or even outside from rain water).
It is said the raw diet is the best for cats and dogs. I do try to mix up on what I have in my budget whether it's cooked here at home, or raw chicken liver. I had de-thawed ground beef the other day and fed this to my kitties. I do keep Iams cat food canned on hand because some days I do not have the luxury of time and run out of homemade. I treat my pets homeopathically to mitigate any issues associated with eating canned pet foods...
ANN R I agree that thing are tough and one thing you have to remember is that you can feed your pet with most of the food you choose as safe for you and you do not have to feed your pet what is called dog or cat food. It is past the time to believe what you are told to do and take matters into your own hands. We make our own pet food and yes it is a little more difficult but very much worth it for our friend who gives us unconditional love 24 hours a day. If you locked your pet and your spouse in the trunk of your car guess who would be glad to see you when you opened it. First check out the net to see what is bad for your cat or dog then look for what is good for them, it is not that hard and cheaper than your own food or $ 2.00 a can pet food, we did it. A little effort for your friend is years of love.
Ann R said:
I've stopped using any kind of fish cat food because of the Fukushima situation. I don't want my cats eating tumor-peppered tuna or radiation-burned flesh.
You're so right. I'm constantly reading labels and trying to find the best and safest pet foods that I can afford. This gets tricky on a dental floss budget (a shoe string is far, far too generous). My oldest kitty recently needed a change of diet, which has led to even more searching and studying. She looks like Hello Kitty personified, and I'm determined to enjoy her company for as many years as possible. There are brands out there that are preservative free, but they cost quite a bit if one wishes to offer them consistently. Agreed! Blessing on all our much-loved animal friends!
Kim We are living in a very troubling time for us and our pets. The food we feed our pets is mostly garbage and not far from what we are eating ourselves. There are no regulations on pet food and no useful ones on human food. It is not easy to choose a food that is healthy for your pet. Dyes may look good to you but are poisonous to your pet, preservatives are there to make the food last longer and are not natural. As we try to save ourselves we have to remember our furry children are in worse danger. In my lifetime I have never heard of cats and dogs having cancer or diabetes and now it is common. I have a friend who is taking their dog for chemo therapy and another who is giving insulin to their cat. I will never give my pet a vaccine, why would they be different from a child, they are our children. My last dog died at 3 1/2 and I was devastated all my others lived past their life expectancy, nothing changed but tainted food. Yes God bless all the kitties and dogies in the world
Kim B said:
I have three kitties also. One is 15 years old, house kitty. She recently suffered some type of stroke this fall and has been very lame left hind leg.
Yes, bless all the kitties in the world. May cat treats be in each and every (unraveled) stocking by the tree.
Dianna Spencer said:
LOL... I've always called them feline undercover xtraterrestrials (those little FUX). Yes, they control us. They know we must sleep. And if we are non-compliant they will shred our ankles. :D I have two kitties, pictures: https://earthchanges.ning.com/profile/CherylNelson. Floyd is the box-eater. He also likes to kiss. He nose butts my lips.
Ann R said:
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