Consciousness Is Fractal and Exponential in Nature: The Journey into the Dialectical, Expansive Human Consciousness and More Energetic States of Being (Our Search for Meaning)
by
Landon S. Larkey
Background
It was 1988 and I was an interior communication specialist in the United States Navy. I was on board the USS Tarawa and we were going on a West Pack (a West Coast Naval exercise). Our unit was combined with the electrical division, and there I befriended a sailor who worked as an electrician. He was non-conformist, which in the rigid Navy world was quite an oddity; I loved to hear his point of view on reality that was often “off the beaten path,” so to speak. At this same time I was also having marital problems of my own and he was a self-proclaimed ladies’ man, even having written a book on pick up lines. Anyway, we were assigned to be the DCPOs (Damage Control Petty Offices) within our division, where we were in charge of maintaining ship integrity by making sure the vents, doors, and other particulars around the ship were operating properly. On our off time we would write songs, play our guitars, and talk about the meaning of life. He would dive into deeper ways of hooking up with girls while I would talk about deeper ways of understanding our relationship with GOD. He was truly an innovator and ahead of his time. Yet, he was in conflict with himself because he knew on a deeper level that his focus was wrong, even though he would get mad at me sometimes when I would point that out. Being in a troubled marriage and away from my wife for nine months weighed heavily on my state of being. I wanted to find out the meaning of why I was feeling this way, why I was so troubled by the fact that my wife just wanted to expand her experience by loving other people, which was a good thing in theory but still was hurting me.
So, I picked up the Bible and started to look for answers. I read the Old Testament and then the New Testament and then I read the Koran and then I looked at Hinduism and Buddhism and even new age ideas. I said to myself as I read all of these texts: there has to be a common thread in all of this. Deeply troubled, I started to meditate, meaning that I would lie down and focus my attention on my being and focus that experience to a centralized point in my head. As I was doing this I realized from all my studies that love and forgiveness were key to understanding all of the texts’ messages, and were thus the common threads. Jack, my sailor friend, and I meanwhile discovered on our DC (Damage Control) rounds a vent exhaust on the outside of the mid level deck, which could only be reached by a steep ladder. We decided that this would be the place where we would dive into a fantastic journey into our consciousness and we called this place Mount Zion (funny but true, although it was his idea). As he and I were engaging in our methods of raising our consciousness and understanding, we started to notice a change in us. We started to notice a significant expansion of our own selves. We seemed to be “in the zone,” as many people might call it. So, we decided to play with it a little and start questioning other people’s reality and what they believed to be true.
To say the least, this did not turn out well at all. People were getting very upset because they could never prove us wrong. One time we even witnessed a grown man becoming very angry in response to our queries. At this point we decided no more—we were not going to engage in hurting people, and so we stopped. Meanwhile, my mediations were becoming more and more intense and I began to have lucid dreams every night. I thought to myself: what if I could just go into the dream consciously? So, I kept pushing at that point in my head, until one night when I broke through. I came into a chamber and a small man was there, but the feeling I had was of intense fear and he informed me that he could tell me my greatest fear. He told me that I would be reduced in rank. Looking back it seems silly, but that was probably my greatest fear at that time. The Navy was a very rigid place and being somewhat of an outcast because I did not drink, I was alienated and always given the worst jobs. Anyway, when I woke up from this dream, I was deeply troubled and did not know if this would come true or not. So, I said to myself, what does this mean? Does it mean I am going to lose rank or do I need to learn something from this experience of realizing my own fears?
At this point, I felt that the Navy was really pushing at me, testing me, because they seemed to try to find the most disgusting jobs possible, leaving me at a sort of breaking point. One of my superiors loved to send me down to the Pitsord shaft, which measured the speed of the ship, which required climbing down several stories into a narrow shaft with a small bucket and a flashlight. I would then have to gather the scum with a sponge, which would take about 40 minutes, and the smell was like oil mixed with rust and water left to stagnate for who knows how long. More to the point, however, I was just tired of being afraid. I was afraid of my wife having an affair, I was afraid of losing rank, I was just plain fearful, and I was tired of it. I came out of the Pitsord shaft and said to myself, it just doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if I lose my job, it doesn’t matter if my marriage ends, it just does not matter! And then, I just started to repeat it, “it just doesn’t matter,” “it just doesn’t matter,” over and over and over. Maybe a hundred times, maybe two hundred times, but I think I did this for an hour or more. Suddenly, I started to realize that it was true, that all of things really did not matter. In fact, a heavy burden was lifted from me and I felt free and quite happy. That night I did the same thing as I had before and focused the essence of my being into that centralized point, breaking through to the dream world consciously. But this time I was catapulted through some type of star gate or Merkava, which looked like something out of Star Trek when all of the stars fly past you at warp speed. At the end of the gate, I came into a golden room floating into a golden chamber in which I was floating in the mist. All around me were thousands of angels singing the most beautiful music I have ever heard. I floated up into their midst and then in an instant, I was back. But this time, I was somehow separated from my body. It is hard to explain; I was seeing things normally except I felt as though I was floating above my body. My body seemed energized, as though it were glowing like an astral projection of myself. I was in the moment, experiencing fascination towards what I was seeing. I was seeing the same old things, the same people, but what I was experiencing was completely different.
I was seeing that some of the people that I worked with were kind of just dead people walking around, with no purpose and no light, while others were more alive. The weird thing was that suddenly people I did not even know (out of the 4,000 people on board) were coming up to me for help with their problems. And the funny thing was I was helping them. I knew what to say and why I was saying it. One person needed to have faith that his troubles would eventually be resolved, so I reached into my pocket and put faith into a penny and gave it to him, and he was grateful (can’t do that now!). As the days passed on, as my enlightened state seemed to gradually fade or increase in nature, I noticed that there was a dialectical relationship between my higher state of consciousness and the choices that I was making. So, I tried to work it out mathematically, in terms of: if I do this, it goes up, if I do that, then it goes down. Clearly this was a complicated idea, trying to decipher what words can I use, what words can’t I use, or more broadly what is the right thing to do, or what am I doing wrong. In the end after two months I lost it and was my old self again, but now changed forever. Now that I had been blessed with this new perspective on life, my wife and I were able to resolve some of our issues, one being that I was so fearful to have children while from her perspective, the point of being married was to be able to have children. I stayed in the navy for another 5 years and we had two wonderful boys. With the support of my family I got out of the Navy after 11 years and fulfilled my lifelong dream of going to college. I wanted to go into parapsychology to help me understand my experience, and maybe to see if I could learn how to go back to that enlightened state. Needless to say, not every university has a parapsychology department. I thought I might try for a psychology degree instead, but my benefits would not pay for an 8- to 10-year degree. So, I decided to go into social work and get my MSW. This is a 6-year degree, but I was determined to get it in fewer than 4 years—which I was able to do, although that’s another story. Up to this point, on the peripheral of all this, I was still trying to figure out my experience.
In the years that followed my Mount Zion days, I had been studying all the mystical teachings that I could find, most of which kept bringing me back to the Kabala. In 2006 my wife decided that it was time for her to explore her own expansion, and so we divorced. I started to date and met my current wife online. 5 months later she and her kids moved in, and 7 months later we got married. Meanwhile, in this same time frame one of my old college professors calls me and asks me if I would like to teach sociology. I told him I thought that would be amazing because in my first job out of college as a social worker, I met a Native American mystic that was reading people’s palms. As he was reading people’s future, some of the women were becoming hysterical since they were getting really bad readings. At first I didn’t even want my hand read, but eventually I became too curious not to ask. So, I let him read my palm and he said to me, “You have been given a great gift.” Of course, while he said this I was thinking to myself, there’s no way he would know the gift of enlightenment had been given to me, so I played it off and casually replied, “Yes, I have always wanted to go to school and I did that.” He looked at me with a puzzled stare and went on with the reading. Then he said, “You are going to be a great teacher someday and many people will look up to you.” At that time I again shrugged it off because I didn’t even like the idea of teaching and had never imagined myself doing it. But by the time my professor called me years later, I had really developed a desire to enter that profession, so I started to teach sociology. It’s funny how things work out sometimes.
After teaching a few quarters, the head of the department and I were discussing some sociological issues and he told me he also thought I have a gift for teaching. So, you can imagine what is going through my head: the Native American mystic was right, how about that! Now I have been teaching sociology for about 5 years and I’m still searching for the meaning of life. One of the topics in my intro class is understanding a postmodern perspective. To this end I sometimes show a documentary called What the Bleep Do We Know. The documentary talks about quantum physics and the nature of reality. One of the physicists in the documentary talks about how reality becomes more and more energetic as it goes down in size. For example: he explains that atoms are far more energetic than molecules, which is why pound per pound atomic energy is exponentially more energetic than plastic explosives. He also mentions something quite profound—that if you go into the smallest vacuum in space, there is so much energetic potential that making a big bang should be no problem at all, which means that if our consciousness has an effect on reality, creating the big bang should be no problem for it either. It’s important to know that they discuss the double slit experiment where they prove that consciousness does have an effect on our physical reality.
Last week the day before Yom Kippur in 2011 my wife and I were watching some documentary on Fractal Geometry and I was thinking to myself (because I have kept searching for a way to explain my experience) that maybe consciousness can be explained with fractals, so I was really paying attention. The film features a college student who needed to have a big antenna on his porch for his CB radio to get a good signal but the landlord wouldn’t allow it. At the time he was taking a course on fractal geometry, so he said to himself, what if I fractal an antenna? I would be able to get more surface area in a lesser space. So he bent a fractal antenna and low and behold, it worked! Incidentally, this is why cell phones don’t need antennas on their exterior—because most cell phones now have internal fractal antennas. This technology also solved the problem of getting more bandwidth, so more information could be disseminated and thus more cell phones could be used.
And then it hit me, like a bolt of lightning, just about making me jump out of my skin! Some thinkers have already known that consciousness might be fractal in nature, but what I realized at that moment is that because fractals are more fundamental in nature, they also must be more energetic as well! And if fractals of thoughts are more energetic as they are fractal down, then they also become more and more meaningful—or, in other words, more fundamental and more energetic. So, consciousness is not only fractal in nature but also exponential in nature. By this point I was just about bouncing off the walls; I had somehow stumbled on something far greater that what I could have ever expected! But, as you’re probably asking, what does it mean? It means that if you fractal a thought you are exponentially making it more energetic and therefore more meaningful as well! As you focus and fractal a thought, you are accessing higher states of reality and energy. The more you fractal a thought, the more you have a relationship with that energy and that part of the universe. In the movie Phenomenon, Travolta’s character says it’s more like a relationship when he was making the pencil move, which is exactly what it is! But there’s more; this is just the beginning. This is the greatest secret of all time! You can now know how to do miracles. How about that for a Shekel! You can heal, you can walk on water, you can have super human strength, you can levitate, you can set things on fire—the list really does go on and on. All you need to do is focus on fractaling a thought over and over in order to make it achieve more highly energized states, until you can finally have a relationship with that energetic state. In that sense, you can be a genius if you want or you can even become enlightened as well. But this is not done yet; it just gets better.
Individual
As an individual you can understand the law of intention (see the documentary The Secret) when you fractal the experience of lacking things. By doing so, you are making these things more and more energetic and more meaningful which eventually becomes your fractal of reality, even if you say you want to be rich. Being rich is a fractal of intention of being rich, so the more you fractal that experience, the richer you are. I’m not calling this process moral or immoral, and it has nothing to do with greed but instead reflects the law of expansion (as any of us in the potential of wealth will naturally want to expand). Consciousness, being fractal in nature, needs to expand, but what happens when we are no longer expansive, or in other words no longer able to express our potential, we become less energetic and life becomes less meaningful. You might feel this as a form of lesser energy, which might take shape as an experience of depression. What can you do about this? Well, now you can finally know! You need to set yourself free to explore your own experience and potentiality; you need to bring yourself to higher states of energetic experience, and you need to apply the law of expansion. Nobody is going to give you a magic pill to solve your state of consciousness. You need to decide your own fractal universe and create your own reality. Fall in love, connect with friends, volunteer your time: whatever you can to wake you from your slumber. We are all one! If you cut yourself off from humanity, you are cutting yourself off from life.
This is why sociologist Emile Durkheim noticed the relationship between suicide and social cohesiveness. So, light up your life and join the family, since we are all in this together. If you are fighting with your family, try to reconnect with them, as your life might depend on it. If you don’t have problems and are essentially happy and would thus like to learn a language or become a great painter, fractal that experience into higher states of energy because as they become more and more energetic and meaningful, you will understand more and more. The key is focus, focus, focus, focus: a fractal of a fractal of a fractal, as you are pushed into higher states of energetic consciousness. This is not easy and takes much practice. Einstein gave us a clue when he explained that he practiced focusing by thinking one thing over and over again each day. Now we know he was fractaling his thoughts into higher states of energetic consciousness and understood that relationship when he got there, which is so fascinating! Jesus even told his disciples that they would do what he did and more. It turns out that he was more right than even they knew, and in a big way!
Did you ever wonder why the pharaohs’ magicians could do magic similar to Moses? It must have been because they were fractal focusers. So, you want to be a wizard! You have to be a fractal focuser. Victor Frankle wrote the book Man’s Search for Meaning. He was in a concentration camp but somehow still found meaning, and now we know how he did it. Any experience we have, regardless of how positive or negitive it seems at the time, can act as fodder for meaning since we can always fractal each experience into higher energetic states. Thus, you don’t have to be rich to love life and experience it to its fullest.
Intimate Relationships
When we have been in a relationship or a marriage we all have at least at one point asked ourselves, why is my marriage or relationship not working? Not to worry, we now know the laws of the universe are speaking to us. If you follow the guidelines and the universal laws of expansion, your relationship will blossom into the full expression of itself. It is only when we put restrictions on and try to control a couple that both parties suffer. You cannot control another without it controlling you. Free yourself to your personally fullest expression. But my husband is having an affair with someone else, you might say. This kind of fear is why we need to learn about respecting agreements. Marriage is a covenant and an agreement. You cannot violate this without harming the energetic expansiveness of this otherwise fractal union, and you cannot violate any other union, as this, too, will cause you harm.
Once you understand what you’re doing when you commit adultery, you’ll realize you’re just harming yourself. You cannot be free if you are not expanding your experience, so if you violate this universal law, you’re only going to need more time to try to become happier. But this is your choice; you are free to pursue your own mode of expression. Find the expansive universe in your union and free yourselves into a meaningful and satisfying marriage; you’ll be quite surprised at how meaningful it can become. Remember, there is no controlling your partner; you have to let them be free, so you, too, can be free, and stick to your agreements so you don’t hurt each other, which means you shouldn’t make any agreement you can’t keep. This is turn means that you shouldn’t get married if you’re not ready to truly commit. Instead, play the field, so to speak, and feel free to explore different relationships. There is nothing wrong with that, with knowing what you personally need to be free! As long as you follow the laws of expansion and stick to your agreement, you will find happiness. Even if you’re just dating, you need to be honorable and honest. If you feel the need to move on, that’s okay. Just tell your partner that you feel the need to expand and be free, to explore different kinds of relationships. Of course, don’t explore them when you’re still in the relationship, since this kind of venture is counter expansive and definitely less energetic in nature.
If you have children, think of them as little balls of light, pure potential, naturally expansive and highly energetic fractals of experience. Sometimes we say to them, “Don’t touch that! Don’t do that! No, no, no, can’t, can’t, can’t.” And suddenly these wonderful balls of light start dimming or fighting their way out to freedom (which we call “behavior”). Free your little fractals and let them explore their universe; they are our future in more ways than we can even imagine. There are worlds beyond our understanding and beyond our knowledge—they can bring us there. Honor your little fractals and they will honor you.
Society
The old ways of doing things are done. We have recycled these experiences and it is not working. We need to find new ways, or we will be the primary factor in our own undoing. Cryptic, yes, I know, but I promise I am not the bearer of bad news. You are very powerful even though you may not actually know it. Once we are able to realize that we are all one and we are a part of one another, we will embrace our future together. And what a bright future it is, beyond anyone’s wildest dreams. That is why we are not going to need any wizard where we are going, even if we have that potential. If you would, remember when I was in the Navy and having marital issues; do you remember how deeply troubled I was? I know now that this was an energetic Portal of Mercy. This is a highly energetic portal that I was able to focus my fractal thoughts through (just as E=mc2). What does Einstein’s theory have to do with it, you might ask? Well, think about it: think of the dialectical relationship from a mathematical point of view. You can change any of the three states and when you do, each will affect the others. Think of this in terms of a different version of the butterfly effect, meaning that if a butterfly flaps its wings in China, it still affects you, even despite your distance. If light is always a constant, then we only have two variables to play with: fractal thoughts or energy. If you have less energy, you will need more focused fractal thoughts, but if you have more energy, then you can have more with fewer focused fractals. Really! Yes, this is the real deal. Think of people in love, for instance. They use the energetic portals of love and beauty to write songs, paint pictures, and write poems, drawing on the meaning that is produced through these portals. This is why throughout history people have used muses to inspire them. Martin Luther King, Jr., used the Portal of Justice to change the United States, manipulating high-energy focused thoughts to express himself in speeches like “I Have A Dream.” Well, Mr. King, your dream is coming true. It just gets better.
World
Well, we are finally getting closer… Now, you would think, with this knowledge, we can all exponentially fractal our way to enlightenment. This may be true, but it would take an enormous effort on everyone’s part to accomplish, unless we are using some type of muse or traumatic event, which would be unrealistic for every person on the planet to have to go though. But this is not even necessary if you remember E=MC2 and the relationship among the variables. So, where are we going to find this energetic portal? As it is below, so it is above. If we in the world could unite in friendship and partnership, then we will open the energized Portals of Love and Beauty. World peace, you ask? No, there will never be world peace because we are all in a relationship with each other. Can you find complete peace with your wife or husband? Of course not! You are in a relationship! Can we simply be at peace with the universe? No, we are in a relationship with the universe. When the day comes that we realize that we need each other and we are all one and join hands in a true and meaningful relationship, we will then raise our consciousness together.
